I often ask myself, what story am I telling myself?
Recently, I went clothes shopping and I was having a really hard time with it. I easily remember my younger body and the way clothes would hang on me. At one point, when trying on clothes it became downright painful to look at myself in the mirror.
Trying on clothes was painful because the story I was telling myself was that I looked fat and that I should still look like the younger version of myself. I wasn’t focused on what looked good and what fits well. I was only focused on my past.
When I give talks to the middle school girls, I share that our bodies are always changing. So why was I staying stuck in the past? Once I had the awareness of what I was doing to myself, I was able to change my story and focus on the many positive attributes of my body. My body is strong, healthy and capable! I thanked my body and selected clothes that worked for me.
I see this struggle all the time with my friends and clients. I recently had lunch with someone who I’ve photographed. She made the remark she wouldn’t want to get her headshot done now because she has gained five pounds. To further her point, she said she recently sent a selfie to a friend and she assessed that she looked “fat.” I shared with her that you can not on any terms come to any conclusions by taking a selfie. Did you know taking a selfie is like taking a picture by a funhouse mirror? Did you know nose jobs are up 200% because people assess that their nose is too big? There is so much involved with the camera and the angle at which an image is captured.
As women, I believe we have so many negative stories about how our self-worth and beauty is tied to our weight. Let’s change the story we tell ourselves. Let’s show ourselves self-compassion.
Ask yourself – “What Story Am I Telling Myself?”
A resource on Self-Compassion that I’ve found helpful: