My Why and 5 Steps towards your Journey of Self-Acceptance
I believe strongly we all have our unique beauty!
Most people are surprised to learn that I didn’t see my beauty until I photographed myself. It’s sadly true!
My husband told me how beautiful I am; other people did too, but I didn’t truly believe them. My self-esteem was low because I had bought into society’s viewpoints of what beauty is.
Plus, I had parents who were particularly critical. Just before I turned 40 years old, my mom said she and my stepdad would pay for a breast augmentation because I was never going to find a man with my small breasts. Thankfully, I declined and found a man who adores me for exactly how I am.
When I finally saw my beauty through my camera as I was taking self-portraits, I had a lightbulb moment! I wanted to share this revelation with others cause I know we all have the same struggle.
I study lighting and posing for different ages and body types. I want to show everyone their beauty because I believe you'll feel more confident if you see your beauty. If you feel more confident, you’ll go after your dreams and goals.
I see your beauty - others see your beauty. You see and focus on the things you don’t like.
I used to feel ashamed of my small breasts because of my upbringing and society. Now, I see them as one of my many assets. If someone else doesn’t like them, that’s their issue. I love them and am grateful I have them.
Learning to Love Your Body: A Journey Towards Self-Acceptance
For many of us, the idea of loving our bodies seems like an impossible feat. We're bombarded with messages from society telling us what we should look like, what we should eat, and how we should exercise. It's no wonder that we often feel like we're at war with our bodies. But it doesn't have to be this way.
As someone who once struggled with self-esteem and body image issues, I know firsthand how difficult it can be to love your body. But I also know that it's possible. It all starts with a decision to nurture feelings of confidence and self-love.
I gave up wearing my push-ups, underwire bras to make my breasts look bigger than what they were.
Here are some tips that helped me on my journey toward self-acceptance:
Practice self-compassion.Be kind to yourself and remind yourself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by others too. Practice mindfulness and be non-judgmental towards yourself. I’ve read Kristen Neff’s Book on Self-Compassion. Here’s her website. It’s a game changer when you can give yourself self-compassion.
Exercise self-awareness. Write down the things you're beating yourself up on and include self-critical thoughts. Then, imagine yourself as empathic and tell yourself all the things you need to hear. Never say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to your best friend or daughter.Catch your self-critical thoughts and replace them with loving thoughts in every area of your body. It’s been proven scientifically that beating ourselves up doesn’t motivate us to be better; it does the opposite.
Embrace neuroplasticity. Just like you can change your opinion on something, you can change the way you think about your body. Focus on the things you like about yourself and keep doing it until it becomes a habit. I give myself silent compliments in the mirror. Learn to say I love you to the mirror too. Look up Mirror Work.
Be mindful of media and nutrition. If there's media that makes you feel worse about your body, unfollow it. Only follow accounts that celebrate your body. And just like you would avoid food that makes you consistently sick, avoid media that makes you feel worse about yourself. I purposely follow different body types, and people espouse body positivity on Instagram. Here’s who I follow. ChairBreaker, The MilitantBaker, JadeBeallPhotography, LordTroy, Saucye
“Don’t speak negatively about yourself, even as a joke. Your body doesn’t know the difference. Words are energy and cast a spell. That’s why it’s called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself, and you can change your life. When you’re not changing, you’re also choosing. ”
— Bruce Lee
5. Remember, every day doesn't have to be a battle.
It takes work to rewire your brain, but it's worth it. You are already beautiful, and it's time to start seeing yourself the way others see you.
Choose to get curious and embrace self-love.
Remember: No girl is born hating her body - you had to learn that toxic belief. It’s safe to be your authentic self inside and outside.